Reflections on a War From the John Dungan Collection Thoughts On the Return Home Some of us did get welcomes home, but they were few and far between. When most of us returned to the United States, we were put down for being over there. You didn't talk about it. You didn't even feel glad that you tried to do something for your country, or that you tried to help someone have the same freedom we enjoy. How would you react if you were taught to kill, and afterwards you had to live with it? What if you were called a baby killer or a murderer? Sure, it would get to you. We all did what we were taught to do, and now many are paying the price - always wondering if we did the right thing. It is hard to talk to anyone about your feeling, your thoughts, your memories of the war. It is hard to tell anyone about your problems. They give you that funny look that says: "So what if you were over there? I don't think it was much different than any other war." Thoughts On the Loss of Innocence Many are reluctant to talk about what happen to them. War leaves a scar that no one else can touch. It changes your whole outlook on life. I understand how many vets feel. They have feelings that tighten and twist their gut. You feel like your insides are going to burst. The feelings I am talking about are the ones that come from facing the true horrors of war. You trained to defend your country. But things changed and you developed a different outlook on the war. You were really there to kill the enemy. Thoughts On Killing We were all scared. It didn't matter how scared we were. We still had to face the truth about the hard reality of war. If we didn't face the truth, we would never would have made it. You might say it is like Adam and Eve. When they bit into the forbidden fruit, it opened their eyes to both the good and the evil in the world around them. Killing can change a person completely. If you did it enough, it could become a daily game. The name of the game was survival. How many could you kill before one kills you? Once you enter the war zone, it becomes a Twilight Zone. When the fighting was heavy, you only think of one thing - survival. It didn't matter who was out there in the village. When the fire came at you, you had to stop it. You didn't want to spill American blood on a country that doesn't give a damn about you. But would you know when to stop? Some didn't. Some went too far. It became a game of "Who cares what you did or how you did it?" to them. If you had to kill to survive, it is one thing. But to kill for the fun of it is another. It becomes easier each time you pulled the trigger. Thoughts On Not Making Friends I stayed with D troop the whole tour. When the replacement rotation started, many faces changed. So did the type of fighting in our unit. We used mounted patrols less and less, and started doing more Eagle flights. We took more wounded and more dead than before. I didn't want to learn the new guys' names. I didn't want to become a close friend. It is harder to lose a friend than to lose a person you don't know. Thoughts On the Price Our Families Have Paid Many still pay the price of the war. Nightmares, flashbacks, reactions to gas attacks and Agent Orange are individual things, but the pain of families watching veterans suffer are family things. Most of our families were glad to see their sons and daughters make it back alive, because many soldiers did not come home at all. Some veterans are luckier than others. They have wives, mothers, girlfriends and friends who stuck it out with them after they came back. The war has been a great sacrifice for them as well.  From the John Dungan Collection |